Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
