I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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