you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
