The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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