I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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