Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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