Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
