Yo dont text me then not text me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
