one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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