dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
