hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
