Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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