i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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