Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
