thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
