You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
