Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
