is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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