Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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