Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
