Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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