Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hippo gnu deer
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
