I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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