So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
