Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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