Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
