I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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