We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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