I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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