I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize