you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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