don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
