Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize