I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize