Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
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