You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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