I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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