guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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