there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
