Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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