you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
