we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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