Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
