I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
