I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
