You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
