Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
