So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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