He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
