I think im going to throw up on grandma
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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