i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize