As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
