He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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