u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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