he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
