Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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