But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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