So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
