I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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