i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
