Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
