dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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