my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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