I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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