he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
