i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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