who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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